I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
