I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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