your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
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There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
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I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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