I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize