Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
