____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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