I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
