I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
