How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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