JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
