These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize