You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
