'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize