Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize