I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
