respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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