is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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