your parents love me but you hate me
Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
