Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
