I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Randomize
