Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
