god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
