Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
