I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
