please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
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My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
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I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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