I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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