She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
