I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
