My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
