just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Randomize
