She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Im part way to drunk.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
