I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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