you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
