now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
we're making bets on your personal life
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
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