it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
