his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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