her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's rum buckets o'clock
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
