arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.