Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
