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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.

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• (913): View more from Kansas

  He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

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  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

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• (647): View more from Ontario

  the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.

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• (718): View more from New York

  Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Twice...

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf

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• (205): View more from Alabama

  I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.

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  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I need dunkaroos back in my life.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Better not shit yourself at the gym.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos

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