I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.