I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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