Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.

  (1-703): View more from Virginia

  You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.

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  (703): So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out. (1-703): You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend. http://tfl.nu/y4qo
  Replies (24) Good night (5472) Bad night (1175)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today

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  (404): I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today http://tfl.nu/iz45
  Replies (31) Good night (6028) Bad night (2114)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip

  (1-225): View more from Louisiana

  whats a bus flip?

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  idk but apparently i invented it

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  (225): i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip (1-225): whats a bus flip? (225): idk but apparently i invented it http://tfl.nu/n87k
  Replies (23) Good night (9865) Bad night (1139)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated

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  (703): i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated http://tfl.nu/8rnc
  Replies (13) Good night (4689) Bad night (1282)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Your godly.

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  (403): Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation. (1-403): Your godly. http://tfl.nu/7li2
  Replies (13) Good night (4303) Bad night (1179)
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  (909): View more from California

  If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?

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  (909): If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night? http://tfl.nu/ont9
  Replies (14) Good night (1109) Bad night (4297)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests

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  (214): I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests http://tfl.nu/7t18
  Replies (9) Good night (3462) Bad night (1026)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle

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  (267): my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle http://tfl.nu/n0zg
  Replies (14) Good night (4991) Bad night (702)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..

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  (201): The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in.. http://tfl.nu/ctm0
  Replies (5) Good night (1333) Bad night (652)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.

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  (330): Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild. http://tfl.nu/4xkg
  Replies (3) Good night (1242) Bad night (587)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?

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  (734): Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook? http://tfl.nu/02qq
  Replies (5) Good night (401) Bad night (572)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST

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  (416): GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST http://tfl.nu/2bqp
  Replies (8) Good night (595) Bad night (413)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.

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  (775): It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed. http://tfl.nu/2ppj
  Replies (0) Good night (644) Bad night (385)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true

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  (856): also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true http://tfl.nu/ky73
  Replies (9) Good night (632) Bad night (372)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies

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  (580): You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies http://tfl.nu/zkwv
  Replies (3) Good night (667) Bad night (393)

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