Texts From Last Night

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  (353): View more from

  I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing

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  (353): I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing http://tfl.nu/a43r
  Replies (41) Good night (5658) Bad night (1850)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left

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  (713): on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left http://tfl.nu/gb7d
  Replies (57) Good night (13357) Bad night (1247)
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  (949): View more from California

  they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store

  (949): View more from California

  I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.

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  (949): they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store (949): I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on. http://tfl.nu/06qo
  Replies (33) Good night (1259) Bad night (3946)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster

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  (701): So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster http://tfl.nu/imtg
  Replies (13) Good night (1065) Bad night (3520)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect

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  (224): Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect http://tfl.nu/i76x
  Replies (3) Good night (1586) Bad night (878)
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  (646): View more from New York

  So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking

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  (646): So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking http://tfl.nu/bz34
  Replies (13) Good night (4589) Bad night (751)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?

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  (507): Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth? http://tfl.nu/1qlq
  Replies (13) Good night (1743) Bad night (687)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.

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  (606): I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail. http://tfl.nu/b2ml
  Replies (11) Good night (537) Bad night (4132)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?

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  (404): Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again? http://tfl.nu/8hv0
  Replies (7) Good night (1962) Bad night (729)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.

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  (803): Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in. http://tfl.nu/noz8
  Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (477)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.

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  (937): Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12. http://tfl.nu/tqh0
  Replies (0) Good night (708) Bad night (322)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.

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  (248): Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory. http://tfl.nu/ir2r
  Replies (1) Good night (508) Bad night (378)
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  (805): View more from California

  It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs

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  (805): It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs http://tfl.nu/6q0t
  Replies (3) Good night (596) Bad night (245)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.

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  (636): You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone. http://tfl.nu/14uf
  Replies (7) Good night (537) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"

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  (443): You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty" http://tfl.nu/zep8
  Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (208)

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