She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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