Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...

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(832): Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it... http://tfl.nu/2lrl

Replies (9) Good night (716) Bad night (3808)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.

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(321): On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love. http://tfl.nu/bm31

Replies (9) Good night (4268) Bad night (662)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together

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(651): Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together http://tfl.nu/hjtb

Replies (16) Good night (827) Bad night (3700)
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(775): View more from Nevada

A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.

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(775): A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins. http://tfl.nu/j7t3

Replies (23) Good night (4835) Bad night (1249)
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(817): View more from Texas

My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.

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(817): My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday. http://tfl.nu/n9me

Replies (20) Good night (1098) Bad night (2922)
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(818): View more from California

I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.

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(818): I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos. http://tfl.nu/bkr9

Replies (23) Good night (5419) Bad night (1507)
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(204): View more from Manitoba

well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?

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(204): well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing? http://tfl.nu/m8p9

Replies (9) Good night (3363) Bad night (1226)
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(805): View more from California

You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.

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(805): You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed. http://tfl.nu/chu6

Replies (7) Good night (1875) Bad night (3710)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!

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(778): I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin! http://tfl.nu/eqwy

Replies (9) Good night (1147) Bad night (835)
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(509): View more from Washington

I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.

(509): View more from Washington

Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.

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(509): I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream. (509): Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility. http://tfl.nu/ehsj

Replies (3) Good night (1041) Bad night (579)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale

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(304): I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale http://tfl.nu/3k6s

Replies (7) Good night (1972) Bad night (586)
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(218): View more from Minnesota

I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul

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(218): I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul http://tfl.nu/2csp

Replies (3) Good night (702) Bad night (439)
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(281): View more from Texas

Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.

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(281): Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night. http://tfl.nu/m4x3

Replies (0) Good night (501) Bad night (194)
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(541): View more from Oregon

This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.

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(541): This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window. http://tfl.nu/jrub

Replies (2) Good night (258) Bad night (348)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE

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(403): HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE http://tfl.nu/834j

Replies (1) Good night (128) Bad night (56)

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