Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  We won't sleep together?

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  (212): We won't sleep together? http://tfl.nu/ebgb
  Replies (3) Good night (962) Bad night (1868)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
  Replies (13) Good night (4586) Bad night (688)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore

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  (845): i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore http://tfl.nu/w95h
  Replies (20) Good night (5450) Bad night (1128)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"

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  (631): Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore" http://tfl.nu/gl8n
  Replies (36) Good night (6918) Bad night (961)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.

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  (678): Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college. http://tfl.nu/311k
  Replies (6) Good night (2489) Bad night (974)
• Favorite

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.

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  (504): My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed. http://tfl.nu/4z6k
  Replies (26) Good night (8495) Bad night (1353)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.

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  (518): He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on. http://tfl.nu/5fme
  Replies (11) Good night (2007) Bad night (575)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week

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  (415): I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week http://tfl.nu/hrh1
  Replies (1) Good night (989) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.

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  (416): You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams. http://tfl.nu/dmv7
  Replies (4) Good night (1868) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.

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  (561): I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company. http://tfl.nu/ywd5
  Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (1113)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.

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  (847): And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice. http://tfl.nu/ait7
  Replies (11) Good night (722) Bad night (1075)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today

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  (208): Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today http://tfl.nu/l6jz
  Replies (2) Good night (1101) Bad night (410)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers

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  (+61): Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers http://tfl.nu/a2tk
  Replies (7) Good night (1045) Bad night (349)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.

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  (+44): Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking. http://tfl.nu/zbnj
  Replies (6) Good night (974) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week

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  (303): The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week http://tfl.nu/55dt
  Replies (2) Good night (218) Bad night (462)

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