Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.

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  (734): I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit. http://tfl.nu/jg4n
  Replies (17) Good night (4611) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (408): View more from California

  and pubic hair rears its ugly head again

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  (408): and pubic hair rears its ugly head again http://tfl.nu/ouhf
  Replies (72) Good night (513) Bad night (3299) Order T-Shirt
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.

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  (434): Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad. http://tfl.nu/ab13
  Replies (41) Good night (727) Bad night (3394) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"

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  (707): I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!" http://tfl.nu/i1ig
  Replies (16) Good night (1102) Bad night (4137) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on

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  (503): Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on http://tfl.nu/atvv
  Replies (12) Good night (783) Bad night (4001) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.

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  (613): I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line. http://tfl.nu/g6vr
  Replies (7) Good night (681) Bad night (4354) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end

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  (912): just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end http://tfl.nu/x0of
  Replies (12) Good night (3147) Bad night (1002) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.

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  (208): She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement. http://tfl.nu/tf3a
  Replies (6) Good night (2445) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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  (845): View more from New York

  No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back

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  (845): No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back http://tfl.nu/c7vm
  Replies (5) Good night (2039) Bad night (660) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.

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  (954): I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate. http://tfl.nu/yurv
  Replies (9) Good night (3635) Bad night (575) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘

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  (907): I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘 http://tfl.nu/3lq0
  Replies (11) Good night (2393) Bad night (645)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.

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  (226): wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all. http://tfl.nu/mko0
  Replies (8) Good night (1495) Bad night (905) Order T-Shirt
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  (347): View more from New York

  The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.

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  (347): The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that. http://tfl.nu/bwbw
  Replies (19) Good night (1434) Bad night (328) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.

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  (619): He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft. http://tfl.nu/kmfz
  Replies (0) Good night (216) Bad night (640) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it

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  (267): Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it http://tfl.nu/yaso
  Replies (0) Good night (194) Bad night (415) Order T-Shirt

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