He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
