i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
