So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
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btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
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I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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