Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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