bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
