I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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