she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I have fence marks all over my body
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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