Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
