The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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