i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
now i know why i became what i already was.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
