The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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