(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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