i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
