Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
