Sponge bath it is.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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