Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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