how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
