Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
