im gay
i know
yea but for you.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I still have a little drunk in my system
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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