To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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