okay pat passed out under dana's car
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
