can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
