dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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