I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
